I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
