great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
