you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize