I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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