just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
