all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
