we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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