but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
