Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
