just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
