Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
