you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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