so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
