Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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