So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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