Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
