Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
