Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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