I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
