Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize