i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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