I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
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it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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