My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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