I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
