ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
