there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize