New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
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after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
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we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.