i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i need some magic done to my vagina
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize