you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
