She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
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