Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize