$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
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I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
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MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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