girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
