A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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