right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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