Dual....:-)
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
