We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
