I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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