I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
