She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
