thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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