Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
But break dance skills will only take you so far
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
