Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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