How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
They are going to name an STD after you.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
