i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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