Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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