2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
