the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Just puked most of my soul out..
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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