I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
