I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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