yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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