Tell her she can't have a vagina
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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