i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
