Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
