meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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