walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
you never un-have a 4some
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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