i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
